Top Ten Films I’ve Watched – Speedy

Alright. I like films. I like watching films. A lot. And there are some films that I like watching more than others and I think I should do this post so I can let people know which films I especially like and share my childish opinions on them. Shall we begin?

10. Star Wars Episode V: the Empire Strikes Back (1980)

Poor, poor Luke, abandoned at birth by an abusive father.

Oh yeah. You better believe this is number ten. You better believe I’m a Star Wars fan. And you better believe this is my favourite one. This film stars Darth Vader at his best, and has one of the best opening 30 minutes of any film I’ve ever seen.

9. Back to the Future (1985)

Where they’re going, they don’t need roads.

Back to the Future – along with Star Wars – is a timeless classic. From the Delorean to Marty McFly, this film’s got it all.

8. Toy Story 2 (2000)

We’re in the list?

Oh boy. A Pixar film. And one of the best. I don’t know if this is better than the first one or not, but it is certainly my favourite of the two. It is fantastically written, brilliantly animated, likable, funny and with some of the best cartoon characters around, and it has the chicken guy. The chicken guy.

7. The Hobbit: the Desolation of Smaug (2013)

This is how I felt when I was watching it.

Is this the first childish choice? Maybe. But however childish or perhaps controversial this choice is, I love this film and it isn’t all that far from the other Tolkien novel adapted films that maybe, possibly, might be further up in the list. But, yeah. This film is pretty damn awesome and Benedict Cumberbatch really does do quite the good job as Smaug.

6. The Dark Knight Rises (2012)

Little does Batman know, he’s about to get his bones and his spirit broken.

The Dark Knight Rises is one of the best action films as well as being one of the best super hero films, with yet another cameo of Scarecrow and a fantastic villain in Bane. I wonder if another Batman film may appear in this list somewhere down the line…

You better believe it’s the top five. And, indeed, you better get ready for the big guns.

5. Toy Story 3 (2010)

I, for one, don’t like jelly beans in my burgers.

Oh yeah. There’s another Toy Story film, isn’t there. In fact, this other Toy Story film is even better than 2 and is the best animated film ever, in essence, being Pixar’s best film to date and definitely deserved of being in the top five. But with such a perfect ending, why on Earth is there going to be a fourth one?

4. The Lord of the Rings: the Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

The man behind that mask is actually quite a nice guy.

As you may or may not know, I’m a fan of Tolkien’s works; and Peter Jackson’s adaptations, which are filled to the brim with fantasy, action and splendour. The Fellowship of the Ring was my favourite book, but probably my least favourite film. But, you know, for it to be in fourth place of the top ten best films I’ve watched it’s got to be pretty good.

Guess what. I said guess what. Yeah. It’s the top three.

3. The Dark Knight (2008)

Holy face paint, Batman! It’s the Joker!

Unfortunately, Robin does not make an appearance in this gritty, serious attempt of a Batman film: which definitely isn’t as good as Batman & Robin. But what the hey, this film is the best super hero film by miles, and miles, and miles (excluding The Dark Knight Rises), and this is pretty much solely because of the Joker; of whom is acted by the legend that was Heath Ledger, and is the best villain by far and a way in any film and gives the film expression, a layer of fun, violence and a madcap feel. Atmospheric, unique, filled with action and with a fantastic script and pretty much an over-dosage of incredible acting; Christopher Nolan’s masterpiece and Batman at his best definitely deserves a place in the top three.

2. The Lord of the Rings: the Two Towers (2002)

Don’t worry, Gollum, you’ll get a mention.

This, The Two Towers, is, incredibly, an improvement on the Fellowship of the Ring and an even more exciting film; and it blows away The Dark Knight. It’s an incredible thrill ride and filled with splendour, action and fantasy (which, as I earlier said, is what you want The Lord of the Rings for) to the highest extent: it really doesn’t feel anywhere near three and a half hours long. And with Gollum at his best, this film is given an extra awesome and sinister layer. Well done, Peter Jackson. But I wonder what can better this masterpiece? Can it be another film by Peter Jackson set in the Tolkien universe? Surely not. That would just be silly.

Since Milo did this, I’m putting my list of films that almost got onto the list here, obnoxiously blocking your view of what got number one:

Toy Story (1995)

Life of Pi (2012)

Skyfall (2012)

Star Wars Episode IV: a New Hope (1977)

Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi (1983)

Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)

Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)

Monsters, Inc. (2001)

Up (2009)

The Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)

‘ere we go, then. The moment you’ve all been waiting for:

1. The Lord of the Rings: the Return of the King (2003)

Cheers, to being the best!

Sorry to disappoint you, but, I lied to you about the stuff I was saying about number one not being a film directed by Peter Jackson set in the Tolkien universe. Oh well. It is. You know why? Because it’s the best. The best. It’s the best of The Lord of the Rings trilogy and therefore it’s the best film of all time. It earns this tremendous feet through ending the trilogy in the absolute perfect way, with many an epic battle, many a Gollum, many an atmospheric moment and many a fantasy and many a splendour. It does all these things in a perfectly directed film which has within it the best acting I have ever witnessed and the best characters, at their best. It is hard for me to put my finger on why I prefer it to The Two Towers, but I guess it is due to the perfect awesomeness that is the first hour and a half. With this film, you have to see it to believe it. I saw it, and boy oh boy did I believe it. This, my friends, is the masterpiece.