After this year’s E3, Nintendo were, well, how shall I put it… Bombarded? Bombed? Massacred? Pummeled? Yes, pummeled by everyone because apparently their digital event was crap. Apparently, crap beyond compare. Anywhere you looked on the internet, comment sections were filled to the brim with slating comments and a whole lot of hate towards Nintendo, saying things like: “Nintendo’s dead”, “I don’t have a Wii U, but if I see one I’ll burn it”, “Triforce Heroes? Federation Force? They suck, we want proper Metroid games and because Nintendo didn’t announce a new one and didn’t show the new Zelda I’ll kill them”, “None of Nintendo’s new games look good, screw them and the Wii U”, “Time to ditch Nintendo and go with the company I’ve always wanted to go to, Microsoft, our God”, “Star Fox Zero looks TERRIBLE” and “Nintendo, don’t let Skylanders take up half of the E3. Kill me (and you)”. It was a horrific sight.

Did I hear someone say Skylanders?

To be completely honest, though, I did jump on the band wagon a little bit. And I’m not proud of it. I watched the infamous Digital Event from start to finish, and found myself feeling a little underwhelmed. And so I posted an infuriatingly and annoyingly over-analytical comment telling everyone my silly thoughts on the whole thing on Miiverse. In the days after E3, I showed my internet immaturity; being both a bit of a sheep and too over-analytical on something I actually enjoyed.

I also sort of went back on my own opinion and everything I was saying on the comment sections on IGN and on Miiverse; because after further looking into everything that was announced at the Digital Event, watching several Treehouse videos and being a little less stupid and picky, I realised there was loads of awesome stuff from the Event and it made me excited for all the stuff – especially Mario & Luigi. I actually came to the conclusion that it was a pretty good E3 show, and probably the best – at least for me – E3 show of them all; because, other than some Sony things, nothing from anyone else made me remotely excited. Not even Fallout 4. NOT EVEN. And I also came to the conclusion that I shouldn’t be critical on things like E3 shows, and instead I should try to brighten up comment sections filled with hate for Nintendo with stuff like: “Star Fox Zero actually looks great” and “I can’t wait for Mario & Luigi, it looks fantastic”; and all the things I said were my actual opinions, not just things I said to shut trolls – and idiots alike – up. I just don’t think things like E3 shows should be criticized, because all they are are promotional information conferences – basically – and their not things to be reviewed. And for me to even consider criticizing Nintendo is a terrible thought.

It’s almost like criticizing this.

I love Nintendo. I always have. I got into games with the Gamecube, and I got into Nintendo with it; and then I grew to love them, with the brilliance of the DS and Wii and all the fun times I had playing games on them. Mario, Kirby, Super Smash Bros., WarioWare, Pokémon, Battalion Wars and – although a Capcom game – Gotcha Force. I’ve probably spent over 1000 hours, in fact, I’ve almost certainly played over 2000 hours on all of those games collectively; and I’ve loved every minute of it. Without Nintendo, I wouldn’t have had all those great times playing all of those games (and many more games, of course), and the revolutions that are dual-screen, touch screen and motion control gaming. They are my favourite company and always will be, and surely they’re the best one.

I mean, how can they not be? They’ve been consistently making consoles and games for the masses since the 70’s, and they’ve all had their markets and Nintendo consoles are always bought in millions. Since, what, the 80’s? Yeah. Who else has done that? Microsoft? Sony? No. And you better believe SEGA haven’t.

I’m afraid MLK is only one of two people who have a Dreamcast.

However, I don’t personally care about the stuff I said in the last paragraphs. The reason I love Nintendo so much is because they put fun before anything else; and aren’t afraid to take a risk to ensure their games, and their consoles, are the most fun things to play. And their games are colourful, in fact filled with colour; which is something a lot of games published by other companies often lack, so it is both refreshing and, I don’t know, nice that Nintendo games are so bright and colourful. And also, their games always offer something new. Always. When anyone on the internet says anything of the “Nintendo are milking the Mario series” sort, I say to them “Phooey!” and “Just out of interest, do you buy all the annual Call of Duty games?”

Another thing with Nintendo is that they haven’t even begun to think of ditching the art that is local multiplayer, like so many of their counterparts have decided to do, even with games like Halo and Call of Duty; and I thought that was one of the quintessential parts of the games! But if I think of complaining about that, I always know that Nintendo will never stop doing it — and I’m very happy about that, it means I can play all the 4-player Mario Kart and Smash Bros. I want.

Nintendo both stay true to traditions, play on nostalgia and innovate in ever changing ways: with Super Mario Maker being an example of all three of these things. Super Mario Maker is unique in that it is the only game in which you make your own levels and worlds of a game series that isn’t a crappy flash game, and it is a game which flourishes on the nostalgia of all the Mario fans playing it; whilst being both a fun game and a game which encourages players to be creative and to have fun.

Thank you for letting us do this, Nintendo.

And then there is WarioWare. WarioWare is the definition of silly fun, and personifies Nintendo’s sense of humour and their quest for giving whoever’s playing their games the most fun time they can possibly have. It’s pretty much the defining game of the company in the last ten or so years: being filled with fun, personality and colour. It’s also a game that gives local multiplayer the life it now has; concentrating on getting everyone involved and making sure they enjoy themselves through stupid minigames and a fantastic variety of things that simply make you laugh. It is games like WarioWare, Nintendo Land and Super Smash Bros. that really bring Nintendo to life and hold a lot of the reasons why I love the company so much.

Am I the only one who can’t resist this? Well, I guess ‘Butt’ can’t. Heh. Butt.

And so, Nintendo are not a company who can be criticized; so I ask those of you on the internet who spend your time trolling Nintendo fans in the comment sections to stop what you are doing: becuase Nintendo are just too good. And, yeah, I know you still do it. Go look at what you’ve done to the comment section on the IGN review of Super Mario Maker. Consider why that, along with all the other Mario games, got a 9/10 or higher. So please, please stop what you’re doing. It’s silly.

And to finish it all off, here’s a picture of everyone’s favourite idol:

– Speedy.

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