Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015) – Reuben’s Review

First things first. This is Reuben writing this, not Milo, who is such a Marvel fanboy that he says the pile of crud that is Iron Man 2 is “alright”. No, Milo. I will not let that stand. Anyway. I liked the first Avengers. It was fun, had a whole load of action and some good acting, a decent story and such forth. However, after watching Age of Ultron for the first time yesterday, I can safely say it’s not as good. No. I’m not gonna hold this back to the end, actually. It isn’t very good at all. Maybe that’s why everyone’s forgotten about it other than Milo?

Following on, sort of, from Captain America: Winter Soldier and the first Avengers, you’re thrown straight into the action, where the Avengers duke it out with what remains of Hydra, to snatch the sceptre – you know, the one Loki used in the first film. Nonetheless, there isn’t really much fighting back, and the Avengers easily take the sceptre after a relatively boring action sequence, which both goes on for too long and is so easy for the Avengers that it’s not actually that easy to watch. It’s not silly action. It’s not very exciting, it’s just watching the Avengers beating up some goons, in a repetitive manner. The underwhelming action along with a substandard script, flat acting and total lack of atmosphere or inventive cinematography makes for an uninspiring first 20 or so minutes.

This shot was the only good thing about the first 20 minutes.

However, the intro for the first Avengers film wasn’t all that much better, so I guess it got better then? … Eventually, I guess.

Well, the script didn’t change, for one thing. Filled with brilliant things ranging from rubbish one-liners (not fun, Scharzenegger one-liners, that is; just Tony Stark annoying one-liners) to bad comedy. The story, on the other hand, isn’t anything special either. Actually, it’s a bit crap. Stuff blows up, they have a party, then some annoying robot guy turns up. Then everything goes a bit pear shaped, and — oh! Did I ever mention the twins? They suck ass. I mean, they properly suck ass. Portrayed by Elizabeth Olsen and good ol’ Aaron Taylor Johnson (the stars of Godzilla!), are the twins who I didn’t care about. Vaguely European, they put on terrible accents and act without any expression or personality whatsoever. Sure, they have pretty cool powers, but that doesn’t mean they’re good characters. They ruin the film, no less. They just complicate things and make the film longer than it needed to be. Furthermore, the girl, whatever her name is, she does this telepathic stuff. It doesn’t lead to anything other than a stupid fight between Iron Man and Hulk, which I didn’t care about. I was thinking for a lot it: “Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!” Tony Stark, that is.

I hate you.

The film’s length is a big issue, actually. What little content they had, they decided to stretch it out to over 2 hours. Simply put, over 2 hours is too long for a super hero film. They’re all about silly action and cool characters, not soppiness and too much talking. The length and lack of substantial content for it makes for dragging out of scenes that weren’t that interesting anyway, and, frankly, a first hour that’s a bit boring — reminded of Godzilla, anyone? In some ways, I think this film is worse than Godzilla. Wait! I was supposed to leave that till the end! Oh well. Anywho, there’s also way too much linking to the Marvel universe, with the telepathic twin at fault again. I don’t want Thor walking around saying stuff, whilst ripping his shirt off in Thor, so I definitely don’t want it in Avengers. None of the side plots added anything. Especially Tony Stark and Hulk’s stupid fight.

Back to the acting. Robert Downey Jr. Eh. Didn’t have much of a script to work on. I think his Iron Man is wearing thin, though, anyway. Scarlett Johansonn. The same as ever. Chris Hemsworth. Not helped by the script at all, his Thor isn’t a friend with bad jokes. For some reason they decided for him to get involved in them. Alright. I’m gonna stop now. There isn’t a special performance anywhere in this, and though the cast is the victim of a substandard screenplay, they don’t do a good job of making the most of what they’ve got, as most of the performances are bland and without any change for the better from past performances — though Chris Evans is decent as Captain America, as per usual.

I haven’t actually said anything positive yet, really. Well, maybe it’s not quite as bad as you might have interpreted so far. Sure, the first hour is, but as the film gets further the action and entertainment gets a lot better, and the plot kicks in as there’s actually some great action, in an exciting climax. It’s great fun, and the score kicks in as well, so there’s finally some atmosphere. The last 50 minutes or so are decent, actually, as all the pointless talking and soppiness has more or less ended, the film finally finds a faster pace. Nevertheless, it’s not all that good, as you may have guessed.

Verdict:

Uninspired on every level, Avengers: Age of Ultron, until the 1:20 mark, is rubbish. The last 50 minutes are better, though, with some action and excitement on display. Nonetheless, the flaws found all over the first hour 20 are still found in this portion of the film; ranging from a bad script, to an uninteresting story, ponderous acting and pointless branching to the wider Marvel universe — with the film’s length far too long. It’s not completely rubbish, but…

Just stick with Avengers Assemble.

“In some ways, I think this film is worse than Godzilla.”

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