Hope you’re all having the hap-happiest time over Christmas and New Year, I, for one, am drifting through a wonderous haze of records and twiglets — a feeling I hope you all feel in your lives.
However, music ain’t the focus right now, neither is the right now, right now, because, right now, we’re looking at movies! And the future! Exciting, no?
Indeed, it’s that time of year where I look at the movies that have got me pumped for the year upcoming. Just to make sure we’re all on the same page, these are all movies that are releasing in 2018 in the UK, so some of our American, Canadian, German or Australian (other countries are available) counterparts might have already seen these, the lucky buggers. Anywhom, that’s it for rules (which are, of course, for lame-os), so it’s time to get into it!
10. Proud Mary (23 March)
This film looks to kick ass. I like films like that. With a very 70s vibe to it’s modern-day setting, it could be theorized that this could be reminiscent of the blaxploitation flicks that helped define the era. With Taraji P. Henson in the titular role, it’ll be interesting to see how the actress fares in a more action-centric role, instead of, say, Hidden Figures (which isn’t exactly The Equalizer). All in all, just guns and kicking please.
9. Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse (14 December)
ohmyGODDDD. This just looooks soo cOOL. In a world where this is the seventh Marvel film to come out next year, Into The Spider-Verse manages to stand out with it’s eye-catching animated style, which is what instantly attracts me to it. It’s been too long since we had a good animated Marvel film (I’m pretty sure the last one came out never, so it’s due), and I, for one, am putting my money on this bigboi.
8. Isle Of Dogs (30 March)
It’s extremely hard not to be excited for this. Firstly, we have Wes Anderson, the esteemed Indie director who’s impressed audiences time and time again with films like Life Aquatic, Royal Tenenbaums and Grand Budapest Hotel, as well as proven his worth with stop-motion animation in 2009’s Fantastic Mr. Fox adaptation. Then we have the cast, and what a barnburner of cast it is. Edward Norton, Bill Murray, Scarlett Johansson, Bryan Cranston, Jeff Goldblum, Frances McDormand, Ken Watanabe, Harvey Keitel, F. Murray Abraham and… Yoko Ono? Sure! Definitely. Yes! If it’s hard to not be excited by this, then it’s near impossible to imagine it being anything less than excellent.
7. Solo: A Star Wars Story (25 May)
The lowest we’ve seen a Star Wars film on the yearly Anticipated Movies list, it’d be a lie to deny a certain of level of Star Wars fatigue, considering that they’re coming out annually now (as keepsmealive pointed out). However, it’d also be a lie to say that they’re still not great. With Han Solo, you’ve got a character rich for material, most of which I’m sure has been explored in the terrifying amount of novella surrounding Star Wars. Moreover, you’ve got ma boi Gambino as Lando Calrissian — there’s literally nothing about that that isn’t great.
6. Black Panther (12 February)
Immediately apparent from the onyx Marvel logo, Black Panther looks to be the ‘black’ Marvel movie. While the very concept of that is extremely worrying, it’s about time we had a more afro-centric mainstream superhero movie — and this looks like it’ll fit the bill nicely. Chadwick Brosnan has, albeit minimally, already displayed his prowess in the role with 2016’s Civil War, and he was awesome. We’ve also got Michael B. Jordan, making like Chris Evans and wiping his Human Torch role from existence in what looks like a hopefully memorable antagonist role, despite Marvel’s apparent opposition to such a thing. I mean, Marvel rarely do wrong and it don’t look like they’re about to start here.
5. Incredibles 2 (13 July)
Boioboioboi! It’s been a long time coming for this Pixar classic to get a second outing. Though Pixar’s previous sequel record (bar Toy Story, not great) keeps it from reaching the higher tiers of this list, there’s no denying that this doesn’t sound exciting. If any Pixar IP was made for excessive sequelling, it was always gonna be the superhero one, amirite? That doesn’t take away, however, from the possibility of this being truly great, and I’m confident that’ll be the case.
4. Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (12 January)
While many of you guys out there might have already seen this, us Brits have to wait a few more weeks. If I could put my money on a Best Picture contender through trailer alone, this’d be a good bet, I bet. Seemingly having a winning combination of heart and humour, Frances McDormand, one of my favourite all-time actresses, leads this comedy-drama from Martin McDonagh, the man behind In Bruges and Seven Psychopaths, two of the best crime films of the century. Needless to say, this is looking peachy.
Top three time, homebois! Hope we’re not too excited, that’d be reckless and I will not foster such behavior.
3. Alita: Battle Angel (20 July)
Oh wow. Every year, we get one or two (or sometimes none) films that look really special, then end up being great, or average, or bad — think Avatar. However, with the latest project from Robert Rodriguez, one of my favourite directors, and James Cameron (so you’ll know it’ll be big, at least), I think we’re onto a winner. Based on Yukito Kishiro’s manga, a truly stunning use of CG animation is immediately apparent from the trailer, as is an intriguing sci-fi setting and a brilliant cast, including Christoph Waltz, Jennifer Connelly and Oscar-winner Mahershala Ali. It’ll be hard-to-miss the closer it comes, and I hope it’s as good as the hype suggests.
2. Avengers: Infinity War (27 April)
Not gonna lie guys, after a second viewing of that trailer, my body is still head-to-toe goosebumps. A movie ten years in the making, everything’s coming to head with Infinity War. Everyone from The Avengers to The Guardians are taking part in a cinematic event that’ll prove to be a turning point in the MCU. Promising to be epic, it’s hard to imagine the spectacle it’ll be in theaters, almost as difficult as to wonder how the hell I put it at no.2! Don’t worry, pet, all will come clear.
ayOIayOI. It’s time for me to “pointless obscure your view of no.1”. No, two years and I’m still not over it, godammit.
Ant-Man And The Wasp (3 August)
Coco (19 January)
The New Mutants (11 April)
Ralph Breaks The Internet: Wreck-It Ralph 2 (30 November)
Downsizing (24 January)
Mortal Engines (14 December)
The Equalizer 2 (24 August)
Sicario 2: Soldado (29 June)
Bohemian Rhapsody (28 December)
So it ain’t Avengers, what could no.1 be? Well, just wait a sec and I’ll tell ye. Jesus, impatient much?
1. Deadpool 2 (1 June)
What can I say? I love Deadpool. I LOVEED Deadpool. And, I’m purty sure, that I’mma love thisun’ too. To be honest, the teaser trailer above doesn’t truly divulge into what we can expect, apart from Josh Brolin appearing as Cable, which is MIGHTY good news. However, anyone with half a brain (apologies if you have anything less, though I’m more impressed that you can read, let alone turn on a computer and find your way to this pisspit of an article), can assume a similar bit of business to it’s predecessor and, honestly, I’ll be hard pressed to be more excited about anything else.
So, that’s that. Got any I missed? Think you’re opinions more valued than mine? EH? DO YA? YEAH? You’re probably right. Feel free to educate my ass below.
Lots of hugs, kisses and lacerations