Milo here.

Hello! Good eve! Wow, I mean — that THINKS thing? Eh? That was… hmmm… that was a problem. AnYWAY, shall we move swiftly on with a FACKIN’ REVIVAL — TALKING TRAILERS IS BACK BABYBEH, well for now at least — bringing back for another outing, let’s do it.

If you are that dense, Talking Trailers is the “series” where I round-up the best in recent trailerage, and just have a little chat about them.
“Why bring it back now — in the middle of your self-enforced month-long sabbatical?” I hear you scream at your monitor, tears streaming down your face as you deny your children love until an answer is given — well don’t worry kiddos, I’mma answer ya.

For transparency’s sake, I was contacted on Facebook (like our fb page, fools) by Michael Wong, a Malaysian filmmaker, who asked me to feature his new trailer on Stuff And That. So I’mma talk about that now — and know that my correspondence with him will not affect my thoughts or opinions on his work — I have integrety, bitch.

The Tattooist

While there is no full length to follow this up, I’m honestly quite intrigued by this kitschy murder flick. The rumbling circus music, provided by Found In The Attic, and neon lighting pulls us into an offbeat sense of eerie, solidified with the buckets of blood, giving me major Deathgasm vibes (a high compliment). There seems to be a sense of humour running through everything, very important for a film that looks to have a bit of camp about it. This is in direct contrast to the tone of The Story of 90 Coins, Wong’s award-winning debut. The whole feel of the trailer reminds me of K-Shop, a little-known recent indie film about a vigilante killer who ran a kebab shop (you can connect the dots), with its high body count and strangely twisted setting. I don’t think we’re getting an Oscar winner here, but I’d watch the shit out of this.

In other news, we’ve also had trailers for what has become my most anticipated movie, Upgrade, the latest from the Blum-House-of-what-used-to-be-all-shit-films-but-now-they-have-GetOut-so-they’re-kinda-good-I-guess. Set in the f-f-f-future, Upgrade isn’t a particularly clever film, with its revenge-centric plot and kinda bland setting. However, every action scene in the trailer had me gawking in glee, as the offbeat choreography is both fackin’ brutal and kinda hilarious — two things vital to a movie if you want me to enjoy it. Check it out:

We’ve also had a look at Widows, the Viola Davis-led thriller from Steve McQueen (12 Years A Slave) and Gillian Flynn (Gone Girl). There is emphasis on the power of women here, as the plot centers around four widows of bank robbers, who now owe a debt that their husbands couldn’t pay off. I’m excited to see how McQueen approaches this, as, from the trailer, it seems to push female strength through unity, rather than painting your standard “femme fatale” or “badass woman”, with an ensemble cast including Davis, Elizabeth Debicki, Carrie Coon and Michelle Rodriguez, as well as Liam Neeson, Daniel Kaluuya, Colin Farrell and Jon Bernthal.

Serving us Oscarbait realness in the empowering race relations drama category, we have Green Book. Starring Mahershala Ali as a classical pianist, and Viggo Mortensen as his new driver, this latest from —- WHAT. PETER FARRELLY??!?! A FUCKING FARRELLY BROTHER?! lord help us —- Peter Farrelly, seems to play on standard drama tropes. However, I’m also hoping that the true story behind it, as well as the strength of the acting talent, might give it some weight beyond standard mediocrity. If not, I just hope we can expect this Farrelly to leave the jizz jokes — hopefully?

Other shit:

Whether it’s due to laziness or a growing need to please you all in the most efficient way possible, here are the rest of my trailer talkings in some quickfire segments:

American Animals – Another heist movie with a cast who borders on unlikable. Could be great, could also be shit — the American Ultra complex.

The Predator – I love the OG Predator, and have decent things about Robert Rodriguez’s Predators. Regardless of this, I have feeling that The Predator will disappoint me SOMEHOW, despite Shane Black bein attached.

Hold The Dark – A new Netflix release, wolves taking kids, Alexander Skarsgård. It looks kinda kooky and culty, but I dunno if I’ll bring myself to give it a watch.

Slice – Another slice of B-movie goriness, it seems, though the cast seems very strong, with Zazie Beetz, Hannibal Buress and Joe Keery. Again, not an Oscar-winner, I’m sure, but pizza and werewolves are always a good mix in my book.

That’s it for this edition of Talking Trailers — would ya imagine? I used to call this a series hahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

Lots of hugs, kisses and lacerations


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