Alright? Us two people writing the reviews and stuff on this website are slightly ambitious English teenagers who enjoy watching films, playing games, reading comics, listening to music and telling people what we think of them. Along with reviews, we also compose extremely biased, often poorly written top tens, highly inaccurate opinion articles and useful little Sub-Reviews (we’ll tell you more later tee-hee!). But without further adieu, have this stick of tripe of a page:
The Big Dinguses.
The Big Dinguses are basically the two idiots who decided to make this website in the first place. So if you want us to sound all official, they’re the co-creators, as well as being the main contributors and the ones who dream most of this site ever becoming remotely well known – and not for its awfulness.
The artist (sort of) behind the delicious header image of this page, known as Uncle Milo until he realised that was stupid, Milo has often been described as mediocre, and is the definition of a white person. He isn’t the cleverest person in the world, or indeed the least douchebaggiest; but he’s a good-un nonetheless. He specialises in watchin’ films, hearin’ sweet choons, playin’ games and readin’ the comics – mostly super hero ones – and writing about them in reviews that better make you laugh, or we whip him. He’s a lover of colourful cult art and words like dingus. He’s also formerly a massive fan of WWE, while he’s now a geeky guy stuck in the middle of Twerton who spends most of his time listening to ALL OF THE MUSIC, playing Mortal Kombat and obsessing over RuPaul’s Drag Race (a potent mix indeed). As well as this, he drums like a crippled panda bear with an extra limb that just sorta flops and sings with the vocal dexterity of a severed thumb. But he has done some alright reviews here and there, including one which got 14 likes, to which he says suck on that, Reuben! Little does he know, there are better people on better websites, who get a lot more likes than a measly 14. Finally, Milo’s the one who came up with the initial idea for Stuff and That’s Best Thangs of the Year.
Milo also runs the Facebook page, and enjoys saying how much better he is than Reuben. Oh wait. Hasn’t that already been implied?
And now, the wang himself, we have Reuben:
He is a strange-un. A Rocket League show off, he used to be called Speedy until January 2016, where he revealed his real name. He did prefer not to share his, or indeed her, name with y’all for the deadliest of reasons, but now the reasons have come out and they’re pretty deadly. His main interests include sitting around in various situations listening to music, mostly the same music over and over and over and over again, sobbing to Pearl Jam and weirdly nodding his head to Red Hot Chili Peppers, and playing games from the colourful lark that is Nintendo and such. He also enjoys a good film and has spent far too long watching Star Wars — and let’s not remind him of how long he’s spent reading One Piece. He claims to be a semi competent bassist, but if he ever tells you that, just know that he’s not telling the total truth. He’s a shameless footie obsessive and a fan of Tottenham Hotspur, who ARE better than Arsenal. A beach hipster, too, his favourites in Wales, the land of rain and sheep; he’s a creamy pasta, cheap chocolate gateaux and Lilt aficionado. He’s been called a megalomaniac by a certain someone, hopped on The Force Awakens hatewagon, albeit briefly, and this whole thang was his idea so thank, or blame, him. Sometimes, he can be a lazy lil’ boi, but rest assured, he is punished aptly.
Reuben’s also the one who mans the Stuff and That Twitter page – so give that a follow along with his personal account, boiiiii!!
Push Square: Speedy67
Milo and Reuben are the administrators of the site, if you like, and they post the most stuff; but a couple o’ other peeps have been added to the site as well, to contribute with some more slightly crappy reviews. Until February 2016, they weren’t allowed to write Top Ten articles, but then there were rumblings of another person joining, and Reuben and Milo decided to let the others write ’em as well – much to Marcus’ delight, I’m sure.
He can’t deny he is the nerdiest of the nerds; but he’s a good mate of Reuben’s anyway. This aficionado of Solero Exotics and amateur pound shop food critic spends most of his time playing Smash Bros. or tending to his beautiful, beautiful computer, and can occasionally be spotted in North Devon grimacing about his hatred of Sonic whilst trying to kick a football. Join Marcus in his quest to tell everyone his opinions on games as he plays many a Nintendo game and writes many a thing about them — in Marcus’, very own, Nerdy Corner on this here site. He’s the one who gets credit for Reuben’s favourite review: of the infamous Zelda CDi. He’s also been credited for the site’s worst post and most odd Top Ten, however, so who knows what he can do…
If I write anything about his real identity, he will track me, find me and kill me. In fact his name isn’t even Emmanuel, it’s Anonymous McSecretson. Join Anonymous and his venture into all things PC Gaming, something Milo and Reuben know minuscule about. But don’t be expecting too much of him, as he only writes a review every once in a while, because he’s usually either sitting in his dark room playing MOBAs or walking around town in terrible hipster outfits. His League of Legends review earned an especially odd comment, which seemed to be advertising something. Looking at you, FineDesign. Looking. At. You.
This guy is half nerdy, half badass (or at least he’d like that to be the case). Sometimes you can hear him shouting “KANEDA!!!!!!!!!!!!!” from a mile away, as Milo or Reuben shouts “TETSUO!!!!!!!!!!!!” back, as a shameless micky take of Akira’s English dub. From what we can tell, Cam’s an anime man, he likes Fallout a bit too much, and sometimes he just can’t be arsed to do much other than, well, not much — guess his age, anyone? Oh, and he just missed out from the beautiful orgy that looms above, what a shame. Hopefully his reviews are better than Marcus’ – for his nipples’ sake.
The latest addition to our crappy cast of writers, James is a good ol’ mate of Reuben’s and is a provocateur of anime, scummy memes (as seen above), metal and rock outfits ranging from In Flames to Foo Fighters, a big slice of Smash Bros., Overwatch and is in a perpetual state of pussy destroying. He appreciates a good film, like Reservoir Dogs or Pulp Fiction, and fills everyone’s Facebook feed with a barrage of dank memmays, while glugging a can of Bepis Max, before and after he drags himself into school.
An ambassador for Doritos and Mountain Dew, David is an odd-un along with being a ledge among men; a lover of Dark Souls, fighting games and music ranging from death metal to hip-hop. Also deceivingly lazy, a genius when it comes to being a toolbag on Smash Bros., the sort of guy who when no one else uses any items he goes to the edge of the stage just to use a fresh lil’ Special Flag, though he’ll have the respect to not taunt whilst losing. His most unique achievement is that he managed to kill his computer with Maoam Pinballs – the monster.
He ain’t writing for us no more though, which is a huge shame considering his writing talents! Even so, his articles are still on our archives to be read.
And, Jason from Jason’s Movie Blog might pop in every now and then for a guest review, isn’t that lovely, as well as the marvellous Renate, of Popcorn & Film. Moreover, the excellent Steveforthedeaf (of Steve For The Deaf) has graced us with some quality digs. We’ve also had Elliot (of Wildlife & Words) come in to review some stuff as well.
The shizzle we dizzle:
If there’s one thing to get over first, it’s that each review and article is the opinion of the individual writer, and not the site as a whole; however, some may represent our whole cast’s opinions by chance, and for that we’ll have some sort of signal to let you know – making whatever it is ultimately recommendable. But if you say that Stuff and That likes Korn, you’d be mistaken – Reuben likes Korn (Milo thinks they’re flippin’ shite); and so on. Now that that’s out of the way, carry on as you were people!
Firstly, you may wonder why the hell we’ve gone for the pernickety rating out of 100 system for our reviews; well, firstly, Reuben likes it. Secondly, it’s what Nintendo Official Magazine did (although percentage instead of out of, but it’s the same shizzle), and that magazine is deceased and Reuben was mildly sad about that, so he decided to carry on what they did.
With the scoring, a lot of it might be a little inconsistent. This is due to our overall lack of detail and professional skill in our reviews. Secondly, Reuben would like you to believe that 70 is a good score in his reviews, unlike IGN. He does this because of his slightly worrying infatuation with Nintendo Official Magazine (may it rest in peace). Milo, on the other hand, will go here and there with his scores and they change with age, so you might as well ignore it and focus on his lovely lil’ summary before it. Marcus tends to score things lower than people’d expect, and Emmanuel’s similar to Milo.
So here’s the scoring system fo’ yo (more or less) – with freaky-deaky colour coding (basically to make it look better) from 2016 onwards:
0-9/100 – doesn’t really function if it even achieves that; one of the worst, if not the worst of whatever it is.
10-19/100 – awful, awful, awful.
20-29/100 – awful, awful.
30-39/100 – awful.
40-49/100 – bad.
50-59/100 – bad-ish, mediocre.
60-69/100 – alright.
70-79/100 – good.
80-90/100 – great, really good.
90-95/100 – fantastic.
95-99/100 – even more fantastic, possibly one of the best around.
100 – perfect or as near to that as possible, and the best ever, or joint best ever.
Another thing you may be thinking right now is, why would you bother reading stuff on this site over other professional, more experienced sites around the net, like GamesRadar, Nintendo Life, Push Square, IGN, Empire, etc., etc. (alright, we’ve stopped rubbing it in, you can leave now if you want). Well, we’d like to think our bash, intense style, humour and general idiocy might bring you back to laugh at us. But seriously, not many entertainment websites have a purple background, for one, not many are run by a couple of odd teenagers, and not many hold the line “Hugs, kisses and lacerations” as a recurring tagline. We’d like to think our unique sense of humour and inconsistent lack of seriousness might bring people back, whilst that bash style of writing along with our un-biased opinions might appeal. We’d say we have un-biased opinions because we’re doing this whole thang for no material gain. It’s a hobby, one we do for fun. Also, not much entertainment websites provide opinions on old and new games, CDs, films, graphic novels and TV alike. Yeeeeaaa boi.
Enough reasons for you? Probably not. Oh well, have more writing.
Another thing you may be wondering is why the hell the website is purple. Well, our good friends we don’t know, that’s because it stands out. It stands out, it looks pretty cool, and you remember it, so you come back. Or, you come back because the shizzle all over the site is so damn good you can’t resist coming back. It was red for a long time, but we changed it to purple in February 2016, when we realised that maybe the red background was too intense, and may have dissuaded you, as readers, from reading full articles. Purple looks nice anyway, so we hope you like it — Milo doesn’t, but, you know, he’s Milo. There’s also all the orange crap. That’s literally just there because we like it.
And there’s a note for our reviews. As mentioned before, we don’t just review new things, or just old things, we’ll review anything from any time, including games, films, CDs, graphic novels and anime – so pretty much all the shizzle. We’ve reviewed things ranging from James Bond to Sonic the Hedgehog to Rage Against the Machine; and be sure we aren’t gonna stop. We also do a few opinion articles here and there that aren’t without a bit of unreliable information, and for those who can’t take our incessant rambling and physically painful attempts at comedy (Milo raising his shameful hand at that offense), we have Sub-Reviews, which are the facts, the opinions, the physically painful attempts at comedy, all compounded into a nice few paragraphs; for the niche, obscure, amateur blog controlled poorly by two teenage boys follower on the go! So thank us for that as well.
It might also be worth pointing out that the photos and pictures and all the artwork that litter our page isn’t ours and, unless it’s the artwork (which we are happy to take down), we our allowed to use them in our reviews as it’s protected by that godsend fair use. Of course, everything’s copyrighted by the respective owners, ya dingus.
Oh! If you don’t like the header image at the top of the page, you can just refresh the page and a new one should come up; and if you don’t like that you can refresh it again, and again and again and again… It’s alright for us, because it’ll get us more views! Also, the Movies, Music, Games, Graphic Novels and Anime pages on the top menu aren’t there for nothin’! They’re designed for easy navigation, with the picture for each article having the hyperlink for the article itself; just click a picture and it’ll take you to the article, up-to-dateness notwithstanding. You can also access things through the search bar, the calendars and the list of categories all on that cool little sidebar.
On the sidebar there are also the Big Dinguses’ questionable “Favourite” Games, Movies and Albums pages, which are really just for the Dinguses themselves – but check ’em out or you better believe we’ll find you.
Take into account that Reuben ain’t no swearer, and tries to stop others from swearing on here, even if they want to. It can’t really be called a “no swearing policy”, but it’s as close to that as possible. However, Milo’s a dirty bastard and he might like to sneak in a swear word if he wants to.
If you loathe Reuben as much as the rest of us, or have any other musings to feed us, leave a comment, Milo will lick you if you do, and who doesn’t want that? Also, give an arbitrary and ultimately meaningless Like on Milo’s articles to support his fragile, petty ego, but not Reuben’s. He sucks. In fact, we all suck, why are we doing this again?
So thank us two, Milo and Reuben, who decided to create a website in which we write reviews and work on the website collaboratively to hopefully create something pretty neat — with the help of our friends Marcus, Emmanuel, David and Cam. This has been the About us and the shizzle we dizzle page, a proud co-production you can thank, or blame the Big Dinguses for, and that piece of crap in this paragraph before this piece of crap which is even more crappy is a part of the original, super-crappy About us and the shizzle we dizzle page, when Milo, Reuben, Marcus, Emmanuel, David and Cam didn’t know they’d have their picture in a meaningless WordPress website.
Have fun reading our crap!