RANKED: Red Hot Chili Peppers Albums – Milo

Milo here.

Yes, I know what you’re thinking, “MILO, YOU BALLBAG, YOU’VE ALREADY DONE THIS”. I have already done this, but none of the pictures show, there’s no The Getaway and it’s pretty poorly written, so I’m replacing it obviously.

Anyway. From now, you can gather that we like The Red Hot Chili Peppers. Similarly to chaboi carlosnightman from The Spac Hole (excellent) and his Manic Mondays posts, it seems like we can’t shut up about this band and their quality digs. As if the name isn’t enough of a clue, I will be ranking this band’s discography from worst to best. Sorry to be patronising. Actually, I’m not.

Um, RANKING TIME.

 

I’m With You (2011)

Much like the early 90s, after the release of Blood Sugar Sex Magik, the late 00s/early 10s were a pivotal time for The Chili Peppers. Once again, this was caused by Frusciante’s departure and, once again, they brought in a new guitarist just like that. A collaborator with Frusciante on multiple projects, newbie Josh Klinghoffer’s nomadic guitar playing brings the group closer to pop-rock than ever before, with the main riffs being mostly provided by Flea’s basslines, some of which weren’t even slapping. While the missing guitar prowess hurt the band, we also missed out on the songwriting capabilities of John, which lead to plenty a poor song, with The Adventures Of Raindance Maggie being, in my opinion, one of weakest singles the band has ever put out.

Best Songs:

Brendan’s Death Song

Ethiopia

Look Around

 

The Uplift Mofo Party Plan (1987)

Honestly, I’m ashamed to say that I don’t see the big fuss about this album. After listening to it more than enough times, it just doesn’t gel with me as much as other albums do, which is a shame, considering it’s the only album with the entire original lineup on it. That being said, there is definitely a lot to love in this album. Songs like No Chump Love Sucker and Funky Crime explode with that raw energy that personifies early Chili Peppers, while tracks like the psychedelic Behind The Sun show some of the early examples of the melody they would later build on in later albums. Still, many of the songs still fall into the realm of forgettable for me, such as the suggestively titled Party On Your Pussy.

Best Songs:

No Chump Love Sucker

Behind The Sun

Funky Crime

Fight Like A Brave

 

One Hot Minute (1995)

I’ve ragged on this record plenty of times in the past, putting it at the bottom in my original RANKED of these guys. However, after a few more listens, as well as an overwhelming enthusiasm from Reuben, I’ve come to give this album the chance it deserves. While I’m adamant that I’m not sure about Dave Navarro’s psych-rock and heavy metal influences on the band, my opinion on him overall has greatly improved after listening to Jane’s Addiction’s Strays and adoring the shredding on that. On top of that, while Anthony Kiedis’ vocal turn has been criticised for being disappointing due to the singer’s heroin addiction at the time, and I’m not denying that the album does suffer because of it, songs like Aeroplane and Walkabout really prove to be highlights that overshadow those issues completely. Moreover, there is something very enticing about the album as a whole, I’m not sure what, but it’s something that makes me want to listen again, even though there are some very present stinkers in the track listing.

Best Songs:

Walkabout

Aeroplane

Warped

LINKS: Reuben’s review.

 

The Red Hot Chili Peppers (1984)

Chabois’ eponymous debut went under the radar of critics and audiences at the time and, in some respects, still does. From what I can gather, this seems to be the band’s most underrated album and that’s probably due to it’s chaotic nature and definite 80s feel to it. Indeed, these guys weren’t exactly the legends they now are when they wrote and recorded this, with its basic, albeit energetic, hooks and to-be-matured vocals. However, that same energy is burst from the seams in this record and, at points, really shows off the ‘punk’ in funk-punk. Moreover, Flea’s bass chops can be seen from the beginning, with the line from Get Up And Jump still being one of my favourites.

Best Songs:

Get Up And Jump

Baby Appeal

Out In LA

Buckle Down

 

The Getaway (2016)

From their first, to their latest. Last year’s biggest, though not best, release for me proved, with the stank of I’m With You still lingering on it, to be not half bad. With Rick Rubin buggering off in favour of Danger Mouse and Radiohead collaberator Nigel Godrich, there is definitely a shift in sound with this one. Say what you please about RHCP, they know how to keep up with times, with extra emphasis being placed on glossy production and catchy melodies rather than their usual funky formula. While there is an element of pop in there that I’m not keen on, I think this, at the least, an album that proves a hopeful future for The Chili Peppers. They seem to be able please most people on this, with songs like Goodbye Angels proving to be great melodic ballads, others like Detroit bringing the funk and lead single Dark Necessities striking the balance between the two brilliantly.

Best Songs:

Dark Necessities

Goodbye Angels

Detroit

Sick Love

We Turn Red

LINKS: Reuben’s review.

 

Freaky Styley (1985)

HOT DAMN!! We got some straight-up, motherf*cking funk in this bitch, boiiiiiiii. This closest thing to just funk the group ever did, with songs like If You Want Me To Stay and The Brother’s Cup being all kinds of down and dirty with that goddamn bass, and Flea being on top form, some of the best in his career. Everything about this record just oozes funk, even more so than something like Blood Sugar. Moreover, the instrumentations are extremely strong throughout, trumpets being surprisingly present in songs like Nevermind and the aforementioned The Brother’s Cup, and that crazy sex-fuelled punk formula in songs like Sex Rap and Catholic School Girls Rule. If I was to call any non-Frusciante album my favourite, it would be this one.

Best Songs:

Nevermind

Catholic School Girls Rule

If You Want Me To Stay

The Brother’s Cup

Battleship

Sex Rap

*WARNING – TITS IN THIS ONE AND SOME POTENTIALLY OFFENSIVE IMAGERY*

 

Mother’s Milk (1989)

Now, we’re in the big boys. With the core lineup now established, Kiedis, Flea, Frusciante and Smith, The Chili Peppers simply hinted at the greatness to come whilst also giving that punk influence one last, extraordinary outing before it sadly and ultimately died. From the get-go, we could see that Frusciante was a very different guitarist to the late Slovak, who is posthumously present, playing on the cover of The Jimi Hendrix Experience’s Fire (which is absolute quality, by the way), with riffs playing a major part in the songwriting process, as well as good few solos being slapped in there. It’s just crazy 80s teens being crazy.

Best Songs:

Fire

Knock Me Down

Higher Ground

Nobody Weird Like Me

Subway To Venus

Taste The Pain

Punk Rock Classic

Stone Cold Bush

 

Californication (1999)

Probably one of the most successful recovery albums of all time, and one of the essential albums of the 90s, The Chili Peppers came back with a bang after the lacklustre One Hot Minute and, frankly, blew away fans and critics alike to complete universal acclaim, spawning immensely popular singles in Scar Tissue and the title track, as well as the infectious funky Around The World. To be honest, I love the clean sound on display here, with its warm melodies and, at times, surprisingly dark subject matter. However, it has gone down in my estimation since my last listen and that is simply down to the production from the usually great Rick Rubin, as he turns everything up to 100 to create that ‘loudness war’ effect that literally no one likes. This leads to songs like Parallel Universe and Emit Remmus being spoiled slight when they kick in. Nonetheless, this really shifted RHCP in a new direction and led to 2/3 of my top three.

Best Songs:

Around The World

Easily

Scar Tissue

Californication

Otherside

Get On Top

Savior

Right On Time

 

Stadium Arcadium (2006)

Underwhelming, could’ve-been-Storm-Thorgerson artwork aside, this jam-packed double LP has really improved on multiple listens, with, honestly, the best mix of melodic and funky songs the band have probably ever done. I mean, the sheer volume of great songs on here is unfathomable, from funky mothers like Readymade to melodic beauties like Snow. However, the main guy on show, Dani California is brilliant, catchy, funky-but-not-filthy beast of a rock song with what I can honestly call my favourite guitar solo of all time. Seriously, the guitar work on this album is absolutely incredible, with Frusciante really losing it on something like Turn It Again (it has a wig-out as its main riff) and blowing me away. Clocking in at monstrous two hours, you’d think it would get wearing. You’d be so wrong. It’s last great Chili Peppers album, for me, and just screams brilliance.

Best Songs:

Dani California

Readymade

Snow ((Hey Oh))

Tell Me Baby

Turn It Again

Make You Feel Better

Strip My Mind

Storm In A Teacup

Especially In Michigan

And plenty more.

 

Blood Sugar Sex Magik (1991)

Look at this filthy, funky legend. Probably, nah, definitely the standard for funk rock, The Chili Peppers’ breakthrough album remains one of their best due to just the top form each of the band is on. Every member of the band is on peak performance and just came together perfectly for this, something that, in this band, comes around only once in a blue moon, let’s be honest, here. While singles the raucous Give It Away and beautifully written Under The Bridge have become staples of alt rock in general, Blood Sugar is one of those albums where any song could be a single if it wanted to. They all have a brilliant catchiness and replayability to them that makes listening to it an absolute priviledge every time.

Best Songs:

Give It Away

Suck My Kiss

Under The Bridge

Funky Monks

Mellowship Slinky In B Major

Naked In The Rain

Breaking The Girl

Apache Rose Peacock

The Power Of Equality

LINKS: My review.

 

By The Way (2002)

I love this album. I love it so so much. It’s my favourite album of all albums. I don’t what it is. I can’t see anything wrong with album, it’s just perfect. While there is a noticible lack of funk on this thing, something I adore RHCP for. It’s swapped out for just the most stunningly intricate, guitar-driven, beautifully written melodies. Don’t think that the band aren’t as energetic as they always are, because at points, they’re flippin’ mental as per. However, it’s the mellower moments, songs like I Could Die For You and Warm Tape, that really make this album for me. Of course, housing my favourite song of all time, Can’t Stop, doesn’t hurt. Personally, I was basically raised on this album and listening to it, even now, gives me a rush of nostalgia like nothing else can. Everything about this album, its lyrics, its instrumentation, its melodies, its songwriting, its surprising amount of experimentation, make it one of the little pleasures I have in life. It’s a reminder of why I love music, and I can’t see anything in future like it.

Best Songs:

Can’t Stop

Universally Speaking

By The Way

I Could Die For You

Tear

Midnight

Dosed

The Zephyr Song

This Is The Place

Minor Thing

Warm Tape

Don’t Forget Me

And the rest of them.

 

Well, I’m happy I could sort that out and give some detail on why these guys are so damn great. If you liked this, tell me with a comment, y’dingus. If you didn’t, be as harsh as you’d like, I have no soul anyway.

Lots of hugs, kisses and lacerations

Milo.